...except my husband had to work. :op It's cloudy and cool out, and feels like rain.
Keeping busy today, but in a relaxed way. Cleaning and laundry and such like, in between playing a few minutes of Diablo II or reading a Brother Cadfael mystery. There's great second-hand bookshop downtown. Getting ready to go away for a week.
Hugs, all.
It's going to be a busy weekend. Getting ready to go away for a week, getting ready to bring Ben home...
I'm so nervous. PleasepleasePLEASE I need to bring my son home.
Also on my mind: Money. I've been getting paid weekly by the temp agency. Now that I'm an employee of Bank 1, I get paid twice a month. I have all the bill paying set up based on weekly pay, so it's taking a bit of brain-space to sort out how to change it around most effectively. We've been working really hard to get our financial ducks in a row and I don't want to set us back by messing up.
Any and all good thinks gratefully accepted.
He's getting us plane tickets from Thunder Bay to Montreal, so we don't have to drive. It makes next week MUCH easier. I suspect the primary mover behind this is actually Paul's mom, who worries about all the driving he has to do.
We have flights. We have a hotel. We have Ben's documentation...
Keep your fingers crossed.
We just found out that Ben's interview at the consulate is scheduled for Wednesday, September 1st at 8:30 am. In Montreal. After a bunch of quick research on the web, we determined that we can't afford to fly the three of us from Thunder Bay to Montreal... we were looking at $1800. Yikes. So the temporary plan is to fly Ben from Thunder Bay to Montreal, and we'll drive there from here (about 15 hours) and pick him up at the airport.
We'll know more this afternoon... like, does he still need a physical? Before the interview? (How the hell is that going to happen?!) And, might the interview still be waived? If so, how do we proceed from there?
More later...
Ben went to the C.L.E. and he won me a frog. :o)
So I was in Thunder Bay this weekend, to visit Ben. We had a good visit and did the normal things... ate breakfast at the Sauna, got his hair cut for school and bought him some new pants etc.
Bou and I took the opportunity to sidle over to Starbucks for a chai. Comfort food. I was telling her that I'm finishing my degree finally (distance ed is a grand thing), and was bemoaning the problems I'm having getting rolling again with Lakehead University; nothing serious, hopefully... there are two half-courses that are required in order to be able to graduate with a B.A. in Sociology. Neither of them are ever offered via distance ed. I talked a bit about the other courses I'm going to take and what my options are... but came back to those pesky required courses.
I was saying that I was told by my advisor to email the Chair of the department and see if he'll agree to make them reading courses for me. Otherwise I have to complete my degree as a B.A. general, which I'd really rather not do. I told Bou that I was afraid to email him, because I didn't want to be told "No." I expect I probably went on about it. You know me.
Bou was just getting ready to make sympathetic noises in all the right places (a great talent she has) when the person standing behind her in the line stepped up to stand beside us. He said, "So you're concerned about 2911 and 2111?" I goggled. I turned to Bou and said, "Kristine, may I intruduce you to Tom Dunk, the Chair of the Sociology department at LU..."
*She* laughed her ass off. He gave me his email and assured me we can probably work something out for those two courses.
I was terribly embarassed. You'd've laughed, too.
Heading to Thunder Bay after work, by myself. Paul has to work the Faire. I've missed Ben terribly and I know it's been hard for him, too.
This weekend will be getting him ready for school I guess... get his hair cut and such like. New clothes if necessary, that kind of thing.
And bleah: I think I have "DeQuervain's tenosynovitis" which is a fancy name for an irritated thumb tendon...
The NVC has sent Ben's paperwork to the US Consulate in Montreal.. the last stop. We should hear shortly when his interview is scheduled for, or if it has been waived. The other requirement is a physical exam, for which we have to choose from a very limited number of specially designated physicians in Winnipeg. That exam has to be complete at least two weeks prior to the interview... so there'll be a rush on for that as soon as we get the letter. I don't know what the required timings are if the interview is waived.
More soon...
The many teachers of Junnaid
No situation is without a lesson, no situation at all. All situations are pregnant, but you have to discover; it may not be available on the surface. You have to be watchful, you have to look at all the aspects of the situation.
One of the great Sufi Masters, Junnaid, was asked when he was dying... his chief disciple came close to him and asked, "Master, you are leaving us. One question has always been in our minds but we could never gather courage enough to ask you. Who was your Master? This has been a great curiosity among your disciples because we have never heard you talk about your Master."
Junnaid opened his eyes and said, "It will be very difficult for me to answer because I have learned from almost everybody. The whole existence has been my Master. I have learned from every event that has happened in my life. And I am grateful to all that has happened, because out of all that learning I have arrived."
Junnaid said, "Just to satisfy your curiosity I will give you three instances. One: I was very thirsty and I was going towards the river carrying my begging bowl, the only possession I had. When I reached the river a dog rushed, jumped into the river, started drinking.
"I watched for a moment and threw away my begging bowl--because it is useless. A dog can do without it. I also jumped into the river, drank as much water as I wanted. My whole body was cool because I had jumped into the river. I sat in the river for a few moments, thanked the dog, touched his feet with deep reverence because he had taught me a lesson.
"I had dropped everything, all possessions, but there was a certain clinging to my begging bowl. It was a beautiful bowl, very beautifully carved, and I was always aware that somebody might steal it. Even in the night I used to put it under my head as a pillow so nobody could snatch it away. That was my last clinging--the dog helped. It was so clear: if a dog can manage without a begging bowl... I am a man, why can't I manage? That dog was one of my Masters.
"Secondly," he said, "I lost my way in a forest and by the time I reached the nearest village that I could find, it was midnight. Everybody was fast asleep. I wandered all over the town to see if I could find somebody awake to give me shelter for the night, until finally I found one man. I asked him, 'It seems only two persons are awake in the town, you and I. Can you give me shelter for the night?'
"The man said, 'I can see from your gown that you are a Sufi monk....'"
The word Sufi comes from suf; suf means wool, a woolen garment. The Sufis have used the woolen garment for centuries; hence they are called Sufis because of their garment. The man said, "I can see you are a Sufi and I feel a little embarrassed to take you to my home. I am perfectly willing, but I must tell you who I am. I am a thief--would you like to be a guest of a thief?"
For a moment Junnaid hesitated. The thief said, "Look, it is better I told you. You seem hesitant. The thief is willing but the mystic seems to be hesitant to enter into the house of a thief, as if the mystic is weaker than the thief. In fact, I should be afraid of you--you may change me, you may transform my whole life! Inviting you means danger, but I am not afraid. You are welcome. Come to my home. Eat, drink, go to sleep, and stay as long as you want, because I live alone and my earning is enough. I can manage for two persons. And it will be really beautiful to chit-chat with you of great things. But you seem to be hesitant."
And Junnaid became aware that it was true. He asked to be forgiven. He touched the feet of the thief and he said, "Yes, my rootedness in my own being is yet very weak. You are really a strong man and I would like to come to your home. And I would like to stay a little longer, not only for this night. I want to be stronger myself!"
The thief said, "Come on!" He fed the Sufi, gave him something to drink, helped him to prepare for sleep and he said, "Now I will go. I have to do my own thing. I will come back early in the morning." Early in the morning the thief came back. Junnaid asked, "Have you been successful?"
The thief said, "No, not today, but I will see tomorrow."
And this happened continuously, for thirty days: every night the thief went out, and every morning he came back empty-handed. But he was never sad, never frustrated--no sign of failure on his face, always happy --and he would say, "It doesn't matter. I tried my best. I could not find anything today again, but tomorrow I will try. And, God willing, it can happen tomorrow if it has not happened today."
After one month Junnaid left, and for years he tried to realize the ultimate, and it was always a failure. But each time he decided to drop the whole project he remembered the thief, his smiling face and his saying "God willing, what has not happened today may happen tomorrow."
Junnaid said, "I remembered the thief as one of my greatest Masters. Without him I would not be what I am.
"And third," he said, "I entered into a small village. A little boy was carrying a lit candle, obviously going to the small temple of the town to put the candle there for the night."
And Junnaid asked, "Can you tell me from where the light comes? You have lighted the candle yourself so you must have seen. What is the source of light?"
The boy laughed and he said, "Wait!" And he blew out the candle in front of Junnaid. And he said, "You have seen the light go. Can you tell me where it has gone? If you can tell me where it has gone I will tell you from where it has come, because it has gone to the same place. It has returned to the source."
And Junnaid said, "I had met great philosophers but nobody had made such a beautiful statement: 'It has gone to its very source.' Everything returns to its source finally. Moreover, the child made me aware of my own ignorance. I was trying to joke with the child, but the joke was on me. He showed me that asking foolish questions--'From where has the light come?'--is not intelligent. It comes from nowhere, from nothingness--and it goes back to nowhere, to nothingness."
Junnaid said, "I touched the feet of the child. The child was puzzled. He said, 'Why you are touching my feet?' And I told him, 'You are my Master--you have shown me something. You have given me a great lesson, a great insight.'
"Since that time," Junnaid said, "I have been meditating on nothingness and slowly, slowly I have entered into nothingness. And now the final moment has come when the candle will go out, the light will go out. And I know where I am going--to the same source.
"I remember that child with gratefulness. I can still see him standing before me, blowing out the candle."
227.5
I can hear my fabric calling me.
-Paul's tunic is *nearly* done and I really want to get it finished.
-Paul also has braies and chausses that are not-quite-done.
-I have to make Ben a Renaissance outift in case he can come to the shindig in September... this sounds like more work than it will be, since I'm NOT making a doublet, it'll be a vest. And he already has tights and a shirt.
-I have a linen underdress mostly done; the sleeves need to be sewn in and the interior seams have to be finished.
-I bought two colours of pinwale corduroy to make a "first effort" cotehardie in preparation for ...
-a silk cotehardie I hope to make for an event on October (the Kingdom of Northshield's first Coronation)
Eeps.
228.0 Oops. *shrug* So much for low-carb ice cream. :o)
I'm making good progress on Paul's tunic; I think the thicker embroidery will look much better than with thinner lines. Matt was over last night and he and Paul ate burritos and played video games; seemed like they had fun. Boys and chainsaws, eh...
Ran out of the house in a panic this morning, and so I didn't have time to weigh myself.
Spent this morning in my 'new employee orientation' at Bank One. Freakin' HUGE company. This afternoon is my first as a "real" employee (Thanks for everything, Gipetto, now I'm a real boy).
Had a quiet weekend. It felt *so* good. I spent it mostly at home being domestic, and Paul worked at the Ren Faire. The upcoming week should also be on the quiet side, with a possible trip to Thunder Bay next weekend. Paul may have to work the Faire again, so I may have to make the drive myself.
Lotsa 'mays' ... hopefully I'll be able to be more definite soon! :o)
226.5
This has been a quiet weekend. Paul worked the Ren Faire yesterday and today and I stayed home. It felt *really* good to not have to be on the run anywhere. I got some laundry and dishes done, had a nice relaxing bath, did some sewing... it was good. Paul has the upcoming week off (because in the spring, we hoped we'd be able to go to Pennsic) so I don't feel too bad about him working and me staying home.
Our friend Matt was in a strong-man competition yesterday; he came in second overall and was very pleased with his performance. Yay, Matty!
Relax people, it could be much worse. You could have to pull a semi along a road, using your teeth.
228.5
Remember, you may need to refresh your browser if you're going to look at any of my archived entries. :o)
229.0
I need to do something about my gauntlets. "Something" in this case is remake them entirely, so I can use them. Our Baron, His Excellency Count Sir Master Valerius (or here) is a Laurel in armouring and has agreed to work on them with me. They're a combination of leather and metal; metal work is way outside my scope. :o)
Step one is take them apart. THAT I can do. Once they're apart, Valerius is going to look at the bits and see if we can make good workable gauntlets for me out of them. I'm sure we can.
Aside from gauntlets, we're waiting on some new basket hilts. When they arrive I can put mine on my sword and tah-dah! ready to go. And looking forward to it.
Whee!
230.0 It feels kinda odd that in this, success means losing.
Check out Paul's blog for the latest on Ben's application. If everything takes its alotted time, and they don't expedite or waive any requirements, the time frame for Ben's Visa is the end of October. I'm SO upset with this whole process; because we were misinformed at the start and screwed over, we're getting screwed over again. I could just scream.
231.0 back to it. Bleah. But I would rather be thin. I can always eat chocolate later.
I've been reading some books by a fellow named Bernard Knight. The stories begin in 1194 and feature Sir John de Wolfe solving murder mysteries. They're kinda similar to the Brother Cadfael stories by Ellis Peters; Cadfael is a little later (end of the 12th century), so the life circumstances (especially politically) surrounding the stories are different. I'm not sure how historically accurate most of the details are, though I have heard Ellis Peters is very careful to use facts when they're available.
Aside from reading, I'm keeping busy with doing more embroidery on Paul's new green tunic. Just thickening the lines. Trying to relax.
Take it easy, all.
Tired today. Trying to eat well, according to this diet. Thinking fond thoughts of my bed. Wishing for my son.
So here's the mind game I try to play on myself... I call it,
How to Make A Lazy Person Succeed
I ask myself: What do I want to accomplish? Not just right now, but in general?
My own answers include: to lose weight, to show my son and husband I love them, to get in shape, to finish my bachelor's degree, to be a better friend and relative, to be a serious fighter ...
Now I just keep a mental list of my goals. I used to make myself a poster with my goals on it. Across the top I would write, "Is what you're doing right now moving you toward achieving one of your goals?"
Then periodically I ask myself that question. If the answer is no, then why not?
I'm trying to bring that little lever back to my forebrain. It worked pretty well before.
Back on the road again at the end of today's work day. I'll be *so* glad when Ben is here, not just for the sake of having Ben here, but also because we won't have to make that drive every weekend.
His room especially, it seems so *empty* without him. :o(
So about this new job... (Hi, Rusty!) What I'm doing is being paid to talk on the phone and play with a computer all day. :o) I'm a "fixed annuity support specialist" for Bank One.
[ASIDE: For those of you out there with a sense of humour like mine, you poor sods... "fixed" does NOT mean I've been to the vet. It means the interest rate earned by the annuity always stays the same. The other main type of annuity (from which fixed annuities are differentiated) is "variable", in which the interest rate earned changes from day-to-day. No vets involved. Buncha dougheads. :op
I answer calls from all over the US from Bank One bankers who have questions about setting up new annuities, or about existing Bank One annuities. I had two weeks of intensive training that covered all the basics, and will be taking another training course shortly.
Those of you who know me are undoubtedly shaking your heads at this point. You're worrying about the financial stability of the entire economy, now that I'm involved, even peripherally. You're perhaps considering taking all your money out of the bank and keeping it in a sock under your bed. If you bank with Bank One, you're nervous. Very nervous.
I understand. I'm not and have never been, good with money or numbers. I was good at but bored by math in school. Music was the thing, not economics. When I board this train of thought, I shake my head too. It's OK. I'm get listened to ("monitored") a lot, to make sure I do little or no harm. And there are binders full of info as reference material. So really, there's little harm I can actually do.
Breathe easy - things could be MUCH worse: YOU could be going to the vet.
Bumpersticker of the day: "Wimps can't be winners"
Today is Paul's birthday. :o) And we get to see Ben tomorrow. :o)
I officially start work on Monday August 16th. New Employee Orientation. "Congratulations, welcome to BankOne. Fill out these forms." (WHANG! Sound of a crate being dropped onto my desk...)
Eep.
If you want to get a really good electronic copy of your "coat of arms" check out this fabulous service being offered by an experienced SCAdian herald: Effingham's Heraldic Avatars. Very cool :o) Fast and inexpensive.
What am I thinking about these days? The same as for the past few days...
Waiting for the NVC to tell the Congressman if they'll expedite.
Waiting to hear back from my Knight if I'm going to be fostered.
Bleah.
AAARRGGHH!! I feel really stressed. Waiting for Ben's immigration paperwork is ROUGH!! I mean, I knew it would be but I underestimated how much energy worrying about it could snarf up. So, do I need to take some stuff off my plate? Or do I just need to find a way to amp up my enthusiasm for getting stuff done?
I don't know how much energy gets used up by worrying about Ben's immigration process. I expect it's a lot. Other things on my plate (in no particular order) are: writing some songs that are rattling around in my head, diet (cooking) and starting (again) to exercise, fighting, paying more attention to my family and friends, and sewing.
Hm. I guess that's really not that much, though they all tend to eat up all the time in the universe, and all the brain space they can get their hands on.
I miss my Ben.
Time to drag the focus onto the tasks at hand...
Bumpersticker of the day:"People with hair have ugly heads"