All right. This morning I was in the mall and this guy walked by, talking to himself.
Okay, in a mall, maybe that's not so unusual. If the guy doing the talking is drunk, or shabby looking, or - well, you know. The kinds of things that suggest crazy in the head.
This guy, though, was wearing a button down shirt and slacks, had a conservative haircut and dress shoes on. And he's talking to himself.
Except after a second, I noticed he wasn't talking to himself. He had a tiny earclip with a microphone that hung subtly down below his chin, and a wire threading down his body to the cellular on his hip.
Handless wireless communications.
I'm a geek by nature and profession. This shouldn't have blown my mind. It did. It's not that wearables are an alien idea to me. It's just that it was the first time I'd ever actually seen one in action.
Hell, I don't think a handless phone of that ilk actually even really qualifies as a wearable. But it was enough to make me sit back and go, "!"
(Don't ask what that sounds like.)
Is this what the future is? Snappily dressed men and women - and, face it, it's far more likely - shoddily dressed geeks, walking determinedly down the mall, focused on a conversation only they can hear? Shades that flicker information across the inner lens, for a full multi-media experience?
That'd be kinda cool, wouldn't it? Or would it be a no-pun-intended walking disaster?
I mean, it's out there. Maybe not tomorrow, maybe not next year, but probably the year after that. I'm addicted enough to being online. I already find myself surprised when a thought traverses my little pea brain and doesn't fling itself into the mind of the person I'm talking with - years of online chatting has apparently made me associate silent text chat with telepathy. Am I going to be able to carry on a conversation in real life if it's so easy to be wireless that I can carry my net connection on my hip and plug it into my Matrix(tm) shades?
It's not something I worry about 24/7. In fact, I didn't think about it until this morning. But now that I've thought, here's the scenario that plays out:
I'm stalking down the mall, mumbling into the discrete microphone that would be hidden by my hair if I had enough patience to grow my hair out. Two thirds of my attention is on the text on my shades. Half of what's left is considering an Arby's sandwich for lunch. The remaining sixth is enough to pull down my shades and glare at the idiot who's run into me - I certainly didn't run into him - who is not only yelling at me, but isn't even wired in. What kind of freak is this? How do I communicate with him? I give him a piercing laser stare, the kind that ought to force my thoughts right into his puny little brain.
What's wrong with you! I demand voicelessly. Don't you have a little respect for your fellow man?
He mewls unintelligibly, gesturing wildly for someone beyond my peripheral vision. I am smug, content in the knowledge that I am a superior being, the new man, homo sapiens internetus.
Then security grabs me by the shoulders and drags me out of the mall to dump me on the concrete outside. "Unplug sometime," one of the big guys growls, and I'm left gaping as they stalks back into the mall.
"Hey!" I shout after them. "Hey! You don't know what I'm all about, man! You keep your hands off, buddy!"
End scenario.
Maybe that's a little dramatic. But I can see things like it happening. Will there be a line in the sand: no wearables beyond this point? Will the haves and the have-nots be distinguished by their hardware (or should that be hardwear)? Is every upgrade to my hardware going to reduce my ability to communicate without a technological crutch (or have I already reached that point)? These ideas disturb me.
See what happens when a crazy man talks to himself in a mall?