We return for our adventures in Shanghai!
Evelyn’s player wishes it to be known that she did, in fact, spontaenously combust at the sight of Ared Fey’s new shorn, hair-cut look. She also spent the first week of her journey drinking heavily, then took herself to the Captain to unburden her soul.
The Captain, you understand, is French, and Evelyn does not speak French, but that didn’t stop her. Her referred her to the ship’s doctor, and the ship’s doctor referred her to the curly-mustachioed barman, who was very willing to listen to her woes as she tipped him heavily. (This is not a euphemism. I don’t think.) Having settled her soul, she studied Cantonese for the remainder of the trip, having decided the books of magic were for idiots.
At the bar our new comprador, Li Wen-Cheng, brought us to, we learn that Jack frickin’ Brady has gone to Rangoon to talk to Charlie the Money Guy, but his girlfriend might be around…not that the bartender is going to tell Somerset anything about her. Teddy bellies up to the bar and does some flattery about how McChum the bartender here knows everything and they’re just dumb foreigners and he’d sure like to help out Brady’s girlfriend.
McChum: Look, just tell me what you want him for and I’ll tell you what you need to know
Teddy, taking a deep breath: There is a great and terrible evil in the world, and we know that Brady is part of a group that once faced that evil, and perhaps fell to it. We need to talk to him in order to get any information we can about defeating it ourselves.
Somerset: :grimaces:
McChum, assuming the Great Evil is local politics, which are often spoken of in equally theatrical terms: Ah sure yeah so he’s still in town but he’s gone to ground. You got anything else you want to know about?
Somerset: Do you know about the Pale Viper?
McChum: …you can try a flowerhouse for that…
Teddy: I like flowers!
Somerset: I’m a happily married man, I will not be going to a flowerhouse.
Teddy, mournfully: I’m not.
Everybody in the group: awwww
It devolves into a charade of sex acts because it turns out McChum doesn’t know what the Pale Viper IS and just assumes it’s sex-involved. Once we get past that, we learn, at least, that the mysterious Ho Fang Imports is run by a dangerous man, that he’s untouchable even by officials, he’s got a fortress of a house in the French Concession. We still don’t know where Jack Brady is, but it’s something, at least.
We exit, only to be followed by a Dangerous Man from the pub. We know he’s Dangerous because he’s the only one on empty streets and also he has a gun. Only Teddy doesn’t appear to notice the man, just the empty streets, so while he’s saying, loudly and clearly to Li, “Goodness, look at these empty streets, I wonder where everybody is,” Ared and Li are giving each other The Nod and stepping back to fade into the darkness. Evelyn steps up to talk VERY LOUDLY over Teddy to prevent him from saying, “Li? Li? Where did you go, Li?”
Evelyn: GOODNESS YES IT IS VERY QUIET NOW EVERYONE MUST BE GOING HOME TO THEIR FAMILIES AND DINNERS NOW ISN’T IT PLEASANT TO BE OUT IN THE QUIET STREETS, TEDDY
Teddy: Of course! It is very pleasant!
Once we’ve passed beyond Ared and Li, Somerset stops and turns around.
Somerset: You may as well stop and tell us what you’re here about, Mr…?
Captain Isuka (his name isn’t Isuka but I’ve closed out of the game and can’t remember what it is so we’re going with Isuka for now): Captain.
Somerset, with great, by which we mean no, patience: Captain, then.
Isuka: I am aware of your man in the shadows.
Somerset: Are you now.
Li steps forward.
Somerset: Now we all know who has guns on whom, so perhaps we can get on with it.
Isuka: You were looking for Jack Brady.
Somerset: I was.
Isuka: Perhaps I know something about him.
Somerset: Perhaps you do.
It went on like that for a while, both of them trying not to reveal anything, but eventually sort of agreeing that we’re on the same side. At this point, Ared steps out of the shadows, and Isuka, who thought he had the upper hand until that point, kinda goes green.
Somerset: -smug-
We also agree that maybe we’ll help each other sometime in the future and Isuka slinks off.
Somerset: Spies.
Teddy, guileless: How do you know he was a spy?
Somerset: Because he insisted on being called Captain.
Teddy: ooookaaaaaay
We retreat to the hotel, unmolested (to my considerable surprise, tbh), and in the morning decide we’ll go to the local paper, the Shanghai Clarion, to see if we can dig up any dirt on Jack Brady. Upon arriving at their offices, we’re immediately ushered in to see the editor-in-chief, because there’s only about three employees anyway.
Teddy: Anthony Cheng, my old friend!
EIC Anthony, a Chinese man with an accent that slides between American and British: Why, Theodore! Is it really you?
Teddy: It is indeed myself, Teddy “Theodore” Roosevelt! I mean Logan!
Everybody else has a brief out of character breakdown into hysterics at the idea Teddy is Roosevelt in, what, disguise?
Everybody also has an in character breakdown into hysterics because WTF, why does TEDDY know the EIC of the Shanghai Clarion?
Anthony: What brings you here, Teddy?
Teddy, very seriously: Well, you know, there is great evil in the world and my compatriots and I are dedicated to its destruction. Let me introduce you.
Somerset, aside to Anthony: omg you know Teddy I must know, is it just that literally everything is always a matter of great evil to him?
Anthony: Well, there is much evil in this world, and I take Teddy as he is.
Somerset: …hrm.
Teddy: Do you know anything about a Jack Brady?
Anthony: Not as such, but here’s a bunch of stories and ads about mysterious ongoings in the city.
Teddy: Most excellent, dude!
As the others pore over the stories and things, Anthony and Teddy step outside for a moment’s private conversation.
Anthony: Are you still on the job?
Teddy: Let’s say I’m freelancing.
Anthony: Very good. Anyone else on the job around here that you’ve met?
Teddy: A Captain Isuka, who didn’t like us very much. Tell me, do you know anything about Ho Feng Imports or the man who runs it? We’ve heard there’s no official way to get to him.
Anthony: Very connected, very dangerous. Lives on Kiyan (spelled wrong) Street.
Evelyn: KIYAN STREET? THAT’S WHERE THE FORTUNE TELLER LIVES
DM: they’re outside, you can’t hear them
Evelyn: dammit
Somerset, to Evelyn and Arad: What do you think the odds are that Teddy is out there confessing every illegal thing we’ve ever done to his buddy the newspaper editor?
Evelyn: I can’t believe you even have to ask.
Anthony: I’ll see if I can dig anything up on Brady.
Teddy: And is there anything you need me to look into?
Anthony: Not yet, but I’ll let you know.
Teddy and Anthony waltz back in. Teddy proposes we see the fortune teller first, because that seems like the least dangerous thing to do.
Evelyn: THE FORTUNE TELLER LIVES ON THE SAME STREET AS HO FENG DOES! THAT’S GOING TO BE DANGEROUS! Well, let’s go anyway.
We arrive at the fortune teller’s shop. Li clearly does not want to be there and asks if we can get by without him. Teddy blithely assures him we can. Li departs hastily; Teddy knocks on the door, somebody yells, “Just a minute” from inside, in Cantonese. A beautiful Siamese cat with huge blue eyes winds itself around Teddy’s ankles.
Teddy: KITTY!
DM: BTW, you and Evelyn and Calliope, who did a Bast-related side quest in Cairo while your players weren’t available one evening, all have amulets these days.
Teddy, delighted: Does everybody like my necklace?
The group: :winces:
The door opens to reveal a small man in purple robes.
Teddy, in Cantonese: Are you the fortune-teller?
Everybody else: …since when does Teddy speak Cantonese?
Teddy: I just remembered that I speak it.
Fortune-teller: Yes, yes, that’s me, come in. -shoos cat away-
Teddy: I have no sense trouble but I am suddenly very suspicious of this man who does not like my new cat friend!
We’re led inside through an absolute MAZE of good luck charms, protective spells, and eventually into a back room. Teddy goes into the room with Evelyn while Ared and Somerset, not liking this One Bit At All, hang back a little.
There is a sword shaped of coins hanging above one of the two chairs at the table. The fortune teller takes the one not under the sword. Evelyn, cautiously, takes the other, and scoots it forward.
Fortune-teller: AH-HAH!
Evelyn: ?!?!?!?!
Fortune-teller: :throws some coins onto the table:
Evelyn glances at the coins, which are stamped with THE BANK OF HELL.
Evelyn: oh no this is NOT GOOD NOPE NOPE NOT GOOD
She leaps up. So does the fortune-teller, yelling: YOU TOOK IT I’M SAFE IT’S OVER or words to that effect
Evelyn: !?!?!?!?!?
THE CAT bursts in through a window, shattering glass everywhere. The fortune-teller freaks out and dives through another back room door.
The Cat looks up at Teddy: I HAVE NO QUARREL WITH YOU
Teddy: O.O …good?
Ared and Somerset don’t speak Cantonese, but do not feel that’s relevant: they are aware THE CAT JUST SPOKE, and that’s bad enough.
Everybody makes their stability check.
The cat goes through the door after the fortune-teller. Teddy and Evelyn go through the door after the cat. Ared and Somerset decide they’re good where they are, thanks.
Inside the door is a room filled entirely with mirrors. The cat is spinning around and WIGGING OUT. Teddy and Evelyn start to wig out, fail their stability rolls, and wig out MORE.
Evelyn: GET DOWN!
Teddy ducks, grabs the cat, tucks it safely inside his coat, and Evelyn begins shooting mirrors. Teddy realizes the fortune-teller is no longer in the room, sees the door he went through, kicks it down, grabs Evelyn, and bursts into the next room.
The cat leaps from his arms onto the fortune-teller and in a rush of black and red magic, the fortune teller withers and falls dead.
Siamese Cat, to Teddy: YOU HAVE DONE ME A SERVICE. MY NAME IS WOO. CALL MY NAME, AND I SHALL GRANT YOU A SINGLE BOON.
Ared & Somerset, finally following: …did that demon cat just murder the fortune teller?
Teddy: NO THAT WAS A NICE KITTY IT WAS MY FRIEND THE FORTUNE TELLER WAS EVIL
DM: the demon cat just murdered the fortune teller
Teddy: but but but nice kitty?
DM: no, the backstory here is that the fortune teller told his own fortune and knew a demon would be visiting him today, but he didn’t know what form it would take, so he thought one of you must be the demon and instead—
Teddy: but but but NICE KITTY????
Everybody else, grimly: NOT NICE KITTY, LET’S GO BEFORE SOMETHING WORSE THAN TEDDY GETTING A DEMON TO OWE HIM A FAVOR HAPPENS
So we slunk back to the hotel, where I expect Questions Will Be Asked of Teddy, next session… :)