I’ve been thinking A LOT about why I’m doing this drawing project and I’m going to subject you to these thoughts whether you like it or not. (I mean, you can skip this, obviously, but I’m apparently somehow working through something and I don’t even know what, so…)
I mean, like, one reason is just that I like drawing more than knitting and I’m looking for things to keep me from doomscrolling. But that’s not really what it’s about. Some of it is that I used to be kind of good at this – better, arguably, than I thought I was, which is probably an entirely different post – and I want to get that back. Some of it is there’s real value in going back to the basics & learning them better. Even if I never draw again, I’m pleased with having actually finally learned to do perspective properly. It’s much easier than I’d built it up to be. Still technical, & thus kind of boring to my mind, but not hard.
But the crux of it is probably that I want to do web comics, so I’ve got to step up my game as an artist. Which is to say, I have to meet a minimum standard I hold for myself which I would never expect anyone else to meet. I recognize this, but also, look, I’ve also basically come to terms with it. This is who I am. That’s what I expect of me. That’s not likely to change at this point. 🙂
There’s one web comic in particular that’s my inspiration, structurally speaking. I know I’m a better artist than they were when they started. I’m probably a better artist than they were after ten years. I also know watching an artist develop is part of the fun of long-running web comics! I, for example, really enjoy that aspect of web comics! And yet!
And yet. 👀
So I’m looking to be able to develop a consistency of quality and style that I don’t think I have right now. Which: phrasing it that way is a full-on lightbulb moment for me, so this was worth it! Yay!
There are specific things I want to learn to do within that context of consistency and quality. Character design, anatomy, a specific kind of digital shading that will allow me to feel like my B&W art is finished. Most of those are very probably beyond the purview of this initial art project I’m doing, which is really about basics. Buuuuuut if I want to actually accomplish the consistency and quality goal, I need that grounding to be not just refreshed but improved upon. I mean, IDK, maybe I’ll end up doing 500 hours of art classes before I think I’m able to do what I want to do.
And again, yes, I recognize that I wouldn’t expect ANYBODY ELSE to do this. I’d be out there going, “yeah! you go, girl! you’re amazing! do the thing! get better in public! it’ll be great! go team go!” Furthermore, I recognize my friends would say the same thing to me and I would even agree, in theory, that they were right.
But look, I’ve met me. I mean, hell, YOU’VE met me, and this is what I’m like. Because I won’t do the thing in public unless I think I’m good enough to. Like, I just won’t. I will Not Do a project, in preference to Not Doing It To My Standards. My, yes, unreasonable standards that I would never hold anybody else to. Know how I know? Because I haven’t done it, because I don’t think it’s up to my standards. 😳
THIS IS NOT THE PLACE to tell me to do it anyway, which would be missing the point in a fashion both spectacular and annoying. It IS the place to tell me you hope I accomplish my goals because it would be great to see what I do if I meet my standards, although you’re not required to do that. 🙂
That’s all for now. I’ll probably revisit the topic, or adjacent topics, soon, because it’s a big part of my focus right now.
(here’s my next 2 point perspective thing)
