Picoreview: Wicked (both acts): not bad, but way, way, WAY too long
I have avoided the musical Wicked in all its formats because I hated the book with a deep and committed loathing, but many people I trust told me repeatedly that the stage show/movie is only barely based on the book. That, frankly, was not enough, last year, to commit myself to a 2 hour, 40 minute first act film of a stage show that is in and of itself only 2 hours and 30 minutes long.
However, the fact that I read a review that said the second act adaptation, Wicked: For Good, “has solved some of the second act issues of the stage show” somewhat warmed me toward it conceptually, as I’m very fond of adaptations that are brave enough to fix their adapted material’s mistakes and make new ones of their own. Yes, despite not ever having seen or even heard the stage show, this was a deciding factor for me. So, because the local cinema was playing both acts back to back, last night I went off to see the wizard.
I emerged from Act One astonished, because every single scene in that movie is too long. I don’t think I’ve ever before seen a film in which every single scene should have been cut by a third to a half. It’s impressive, in a tormented sort of way. Every. Single. Scene.
Act Two was slightly less tormented, partly by dint of actually being shorter (if only by 20 minutes), and partly, I suspect, by some of the things they did to fix problems with the stage show. Which, again, I haven’t seen…but I’m almost positive I know what they changed, and if I’m right, they were absolutely correct to do so. I’ll listen to the stage show soundtrack this weekend and find out.
Both women were powerhouses, vocally speaking. I don’t know if Ariana Grande can act, but she could play Glinda. Cynthia Erivo CAN act and was done a real injustice by the songs all being stretched out to the heat death of the universe, but sold the role phenomenally well regardless.
But, like…I know Defying Gravity is supposed to be THE song from that show, and I think a well-conceived version of it could have destroyed me, but, thanks to the ill-conceived decision to make it about three and a half centuries long, it just really didn’t have any particular impact. (I cannot say well-edited; you can’t edit what they did down to something else. They would have had to have started in a different place to get where they should have been. The filmmakers’ entire approach was just badly conceived.)
I thought the only real banger in the whole movie, both parts, was No Good Deed (which was still too long, but nearly overcame it), although Jonathan Bailey’s library song was huge fun and probably would have been GREAT if it hadn’t gone on for roughly forty-five hours.
Speaking of Jonathan Bailey, Jesus Christ. I bounced off his Bridgerton season (I was so bored I’m not even sure I made it through the first episode), but I may have to try it again because that man could have chemistry with a doormat, I mean my god. My god!
Anyway, I’m more interested in seeing the stage show now, and also absolutely certain going to both acts at once was the only way I was EVER going to see the movies, so that was, in its way, a good call.
Oh, and also, wow, the CGI animals were so very, very bad.
All of which apparently makes me sound like I didn’t like it. I didn’t NOT like it. I’m not sorry I saw it. Just. Come on. No musical needs to be five hours long. No MOVIE needs to be five hours long! It would have made a great 3 hour film, maybe even 3:20 minutes if you really felt like you needed to cut it in half, but…yeah, anyway, so that’s it. :)