Writerbrain vs. Voice of Unpleasant Reality

July 7, 2006

This is what it sounds like in my head this morning:

Writerbrain: Crap. I only did 1500 words yesterday. That puts me behind schedule for hitting the halfway mark by tomorrow. How can I fix this?

Unpleasant Voice of Reality: By writing more.

Writerbrain: AHAHAHAHAHAHA yeah right, ok, try another one.

Unpleasant Voice of Reality: No, really. That’s what you’re going to have to do.

Writerbrain: Pull the other one, it tickles.

Unpleasant Voice of Reality: Look, you’re at page 215 or thereabouts. In order to reasonably achieve 250 pages by Saturday, you need to do at least 10 pages today; 15-20 would be better. It’ll be fine. Just get to work.

Writerbrain: Solitaire is nice.

Unpleasant Voice of Reality: Solitaire sucks, and besides, you already won a game this morning. Call it good and go back to work. Look, you put some nice sentences together there and pushed yourself over 10 pages on this chapter when you stopped playing solitaire for twenty minutes.

Writerbrain: Gilmore Girls rules!

Unpleasant Voice of Reality: And you can watch some Gilmore Girls when you’ve gotten to 230 pages.

Writerbrain: *looks sullen* *keeps playing solitaire* Blogging is good!

Unpleasant Voice of Reality: …fine. Okay, fine. We’ll go write a blog entry and then go back to work. Okay?

Writerbrain: I don’t like work. I don’t wanna. Can’t we put it off until tomooooorrrrow? Pleeeeaaaaase?

Unpleasant Voice of Reality: Right. How about you just totally screw around today and tomorrow find yourself having to write forty pages? That sounds like a *great* plan, right?

WB: Rock ON!

Unpleasant Voice of Reality: …

12 thoughts on “Writerbrain vs. Voice of Unpleasant Reality”

  2. OMG, does your Writerbrain know my Writerbrain?

    I think they’re somehow related! :)

  3. Yah. I’m trying desperately to keep ahead of my actual publisher-expects-book-on-this-date schedule (to the point of being uncertain when the actual duedates for most of the next year *are*; I think this book is really due in October), so I’ve got that much slack built in. I do not like working cheek and jowl to the actual deadline if I can avoid it. (I’m not sure anybody except maybe Douglas Adams does. (Did.))

  4. You’re closer to her than I am. You hit her.

    (gotta have a draft by the 18th, gotta have a draft by the 18th, gotta have a draft by the 18th)

    *g*

  5. This is what every bloody* Writerbrain sounds like, with variables for Solitaire/Gilmore Girls/the numbers involved. Displacement activity is a profession; it’s what we do most diligently, therefore any reasonable observer would assume it’s what we actually get paid for. The writing is just an indulgence, when we can break away from the displacement.

    *an adjective, not a swearword: it describes every known Writerbrain, after a more-than-bruising encounter with that Unpleasant Voice of Reality…

  6. Oh my heavens that had me laughing, that’s my crafting brain at the moment
    Crafting brain:Oooooh Shiny!
    Responsible portion of brain: Now, now, put that down, you need to have this beadweaving done by Wednesday so it can get glued down.
    CB:Blog! Blog! Blog! Blog!
    RPoB: Stop that, really, just get to the next fiddly bit, then you can blog…
    CB:Found the needleweaving book, oooh pretty pictures…
    RPoB: *sigh*

  9. *giggle*

    That reminds me of Wil Wheaton’s blog post from yesterday, but shorter and funnier. :)

  10. You’d think writerbrains would understand sarcasm when used against them. But they don’t.

  11. Wow. Your writerbrain and my….er….brain, yeah, most of the whole brain actually….would get along quite swimmingly.

  12. Unpleasant Voice of Reality: *criez*
    Unpleasant Voice of Reality: *goes drinking with other UPORs and commiserates with them over malt scotches*

Comments are closed.