Avengers!

Picoreview: Go see it go see it go see it RIGHT NOW WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR GO ALREADY

Less of a picoreview: Look, I went in as Extremely Skeptical You Must Convince Me That Joss Is Not About To Make “Widow The Avengers Slayer” Lass.

I do not believe I remembered past the opening sequence that I was supposed to be being skeptical or convinced. It’s a 2.5 hour movie that feels like a 90 minute movie. The pacing is awesome. The dialogue is great and not, thank god, Buffyesque. The action is terrific, and there are a *lot* of laugh-out-loud moments. Ted, who saw it before me, said he thought it was better than any of the lead-up films, all of which we liked a lot. And he’s right. It is.

I don’t like Mark Ruffalo (he gives me the creeps. i don’t know why, he just does). I badly wished they’d cast anybody else as Bruce Banner, if they had to recast him, and what I *really* wanted to see whas Ed Norton in everybody’s faces. But fair play to Ruffalo: I can’t imagine Norton successfully playing the character the way he was written in Avengers Assemble, and Ruffalo was more appealing in the role than in anything I’ve ever seen him in. So my hat is off to him, and I hope he’ll be back in the next movie.

Also, I had to see it in 3D because the 2D showing was sold out. The only reason on earth to see it in 3D is for one truly amazing shot of Chris Evans’s unbelieveably well-formed derriere. (Sadly, Scarlett Johansson’s equally nice bottom was not nearly so well served in 3D by her black leather catsuit, because it just didn’t catch the light right. And yes, ladies and gentlemen, I *carefully looked* to make as unbiased an opinion on this as I could, all for your benefit.) Other than Chris Evans’s hiney, I genuinely don’t think there’s any reason to see it in 3D.

(Seriously, jeebus god, that man. There’s another shot of him from a back angle where he’s in a white t-shirt, and just…my *god*. His *body*. Just the *shape* of him is aesthetically stunning. I don’t even *like* blondes, and my *God*.)