Well, I just finally called the Audi mothership. After sitting on hold for a very long time (during which I attempted to compose an email which would fit into their 1200 character limit on their website) a very nice woman answered and listened to me rant about this incredibly frustrating situation. She took my complaint and the mothership will be contacting the Morrison Auto Group on Monday. I should hear from them (the mothership, although I expect to hear from the MAG, too) Monday or Tuesday.
*Very* frustrating. :P