revelation [ww lock]

I had a revelation last night. This is something basically pointed out weeks ago, but I’m a little slow on the uptake.

My revelation: I have *never* successfully stayed on the Weight Watchers plan at 22 points a day. I may have managed it for a few weeks last summer while I was exercising like a fiend and bringing my points up to something like 27 or 28 base through APs, and then an additional several with the WPA, but I have .never. actually stuck with it for more than several days. I think it just plain isn’t enough food.

So now I’m trying to decide what number I should deal with. I think I managed 24 points okay. I have no idea why 2 points makes that much difference, but apparently it does. So maybe I’ll try dealing with that number for the next 5 days and see how it goes.

This is really aggravating. I have–in a totally ideal world, if I were to get down to what may be an impossible weight–about 16 pounds to lose. A more realistic number is probably 10, which would be … great. It really would be. I’d be several pounds lighter than any adult weight I’ve ever maintained, at 10 pounds less than I am right now. And I feel like, well, I’m clearly not unhappy enough with the weight I’ve been at for more or less the last year to *do* something about it, because I keep failing every time I try. I don’t know. I guess it’d actually be sort of a relief if I keep blowing it because I’m genuinely not eating enough, rather than having NO WILLPOWER AT ALL, which is what I feel like. :p

Moop.