and more grrr

Email from HR this morning:

You can let her know that we ask this of all employees who are adding dependents with different last names whether it be children or spouse’s. Because our policies do not allow anything but a spouse, we are permitted to request information. If we don’t do it, then the carrier will to make sure they aren’t insuring an ineligible dependent. So therefore, we do it so the employee doesn’t have to work directly with the carrier.

My response:

I understand why they’re making the request they’re making. I understand that in order to put Ted on my policy I will have to produce some sort of documentation proving that I’m married to him. I don’t happen to have a copy of my marriage certificate available; like I said, I do have some nice wedding photos. What precisely are we considering ‘proof’, here?

My objection is that I believe this to be discriminatory. From what I’m reading here, I’m understanding that if, hypothetically, I were to add my brother to my insurance and list him as my spouse, that unless and until I filed a claim in his name, it would be assumed that I was telling the truth, and that he was my spouse, because he has the same last name as I do. My understanding is that because my husband has a different last name than I do, I am assumed to be telling a falsehood, and therefore must prove that I am indeed married to him.

I don’t believe the fact that this is being requested of other people whose children or spouses who have different last names makes it right. It is merely discriminatory. Non-discriminatory procedure would be requiring proof of marriage from all employees who claim to be married.

I’m not at all sure the hypothetical brother situation is going to do anything but confuse and annoy them, but by *God* I can’t let this lie. I seriously feel I’m being discriminated against. I *get* that I’m going to have to provide the documentation, but I’m going to do everything I bloody well can to get the policy changed. It’s *wrong*.