hiss, spit

Hissing, spitting Kit. *Really* pissed off.

This afternoon I got an email from my HR department which read:

Catherine has a different last name than her spouse – Ted Lee. Can you obtain something confirming that they are married before we add him as the dependent in the system?

Hello? What century is this? What world are we living in? Since when is the *same last name* an absolute for a married couple? I wrote back, asked if married couples with the same last name had to submit proof of marriage, and while I was at it, asked a couple of my married coworkers if they’d been asked to prove they were married. HR wrote back and said no, married couples with the same last name did not have to submit proof of marriage, and the coworkers had not been asked.

So while I was trying to rein in my temper enough to email HR back and tell them I did not have a fax machine, but I could email them some nice pictures of my wedding if they wanted, my boss, who was one of the married couples I asked, went and talked to HR and told them that I wasn’t very happy, and I then got this:

[I have sent the higher-up HR person] an email about the request she made. She will get back to me tomorrow and I will pass her email onto you. I am sure this is just standard procedure for them.

To which I responded:

I imagine it probably is standard procedure, but I feel quite strongly that it’s a discriminatory procedure.

Sharing or not sharing the same last name is hardly a signifier of marriage in today’s world. I feel that if I, as a married woman who retained her maiden name, am expected to prove that I am married to a man with a different last name, that it is only reasonable that married couples who have the same last names should also be expected to submit proof of marriage. If married couples who share the same last name are trusted to be telling the truth, I see no reason why married couples who do not share the same last name should not be trusted in the same way.

And there we stand. Tomorrow there will be more news. *Wow* I’m pissy about this.

3 Comments


  1. Sheeeesh! Dimwits! If they don’t trust the word of their employees as to marriage status, then *all* should be required to produce a proof of marriage. Sheeesh. Then again, I’m from a country where a minority of families have a common last name for all members =).


  2. Kill them, kill them all! Suck their brains dry! Fling them into the sea for killer squids to devour! Then get really mean!


  3. Wow. I was going to post a comment about the evil that should be done to that wickedly stupid H.R. department, but the last comment said it far better than I ever could. I suppose instead I should post a bad haiku in their dishonor, such as this one:

    H.R. department

    writhing in stupidity

    idiotic gits

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