asthma?!

SO APPARENTLY I HAVE ASTHMA which seems to be mostly weight-induced and probably explains being unable to breathe well for the past 18 months.

I’ve had these kinds of asthmatic problems in the past when I weighed this much, but never really actually thought I was asthmatic. But my night time breathing has been so bad I finally went in to the pharmacist next door and she said (to paraphrase) “jesus i can hear you wheezing now, get yourself to a doctor before that asthma turns into a chest infection”, so, uh, I did. And the nice doctor lady listened to my descripton of the symptoms (worst at far at night, who knew that was an asthma thing?, somewhat exercise-induced, etc) and then my breathing, and said “yeah, almost certainly asthma, have a prescription and call back around in a couple weeks.”

She also had me blow into a breath-measurer thing, which I topped out easily because ironically, of course, yesterday I was having a perfectly fine breathing day, and she was obviously very pleased that I was able to do that and pretty sure I didn’t need an exciting steroidal inhaler, just a regular one. Use it 4-5 times a day as needed, she said, although she also said if I needed it that much I needed a higher level one anyway.

I am actually feeling weirdly positive about this, because I’ve gone to the doctor and gotten a prescription for an inhaler, and if I can BREATHE I’ll be able to SLEEP BETTER, and if I sleep better I’ll be more able to EXERCISE (and you know, not get winded/wheezy/light-headed (oh shit that’s probably what the weird moments of light-headedness have been!) WHEN i exercise) and if I exercise I find it easier to EAT WELL which will help me knock off all this weight I’ve piled on and then THE ASTHMA WILL GO AWAY AGAIN.

So I tried the thing last night and IT WORKED. LET ME TELL YOU ABOUT THIS THING CALLED BREATHING, GUYS, IT’S AMAZING YOU SHOULD TRY IT! I slept well and then when I had to pee in the small hours of the morning I had a faint wheeze and I thought “eh well that’s not so bad” and then I thought “BUT WHY SHOULD I SUFFER” and had another dose, AND BREATHING IS GREAT, GUYS!