Bleaching my hair will not make me fifteen pounds thinner.
Redesigning my webpage will not finish this book.
I can’t decide if it’s good or just annoying that I can recognize avoidance techniques/displacement issues like that.
*Especially* because recognizing them doesn’t make me any less desirous of redesigning my webpage (yes, I *know* I just did it; you see my point?) or bleaching my hair. It just makes me crabby.
I’m feeling very crabby right now. I’ve blown my no-sugar thing, and if I start again now I won’t be able to go get ice cream at Hot Licks with Emily while she’s in town, and that seems really suckful. Especially since I’ve got a birthday coupon to use there and I have to use it by August 1 or I lose it. *sigh* I’m tired of *dieting*, of being bloody *hungry* all the time, and not feeling like I’m knocking off the pounds. (Yeah, I know I just mentioned yesterday having lost a pound and a half. Not the point.) I’m tired of being overweight, and while I’ve lost 30 pounds and am within a few pounds of my lowest adult weight ever, I still have a lot of jiggle to get rid of. But I’m sick to death of being hungry every twenty goddamned minutes and I’m miserable at how grumpy it’s making me.
Combine that with being stressed over the freaking *book*, which I bit the bullet and emailed my editor to ask for a week’s extension on today, and I’m just completely on edge. I know I eat when I’m stressy, so I’m working *really hard* on not doing that, and it’s only adding to my general bad mood. And somewhat ironically, the idea of pigging out just makes me even *more* grumpy, because I’ve at least got enough self-awareness to know that doing so will in the long term make me that much unhappier. So I’m not shoveling junk down my throat, but there’s only so much goddamned broccoli a girl can eat, and just )(#$@#@$!!)#(@#
Furthermore, if Ursula had written this post, it would be funny, and right now I’m grumpy about that, too. :P
miles to Rauros Falls: 296
It’s a good thing to recognize your avoidance techniques – the trick is to trick yourself into the tackling the work you’re avoiding. As I recall, you are adept at this.
Capt. Rikcenbacker
USN
Avoidance? What’s avoidance? Oh, you mean like reading other peoples’ blogs instead of working on the chapter that you swore you’d get well into today? That kind of avoidance?
Not that I do that sort of thing. At all. Nope.
*giggles at Laura Anne* Nope. We wouldn’t know about that sort of thing at all. Not us. :)
*shifty eyes*. What, somebody reads blogs instead of working? Inconceivable!
I suppose that’s my cue to go back to wrestling with this stubborn VSAM file :)
I’m so much right there with you on the weight thing. I’ve backslid a bit (not sure how much, I haven’t been to Ellie’s to weigh myself for a few weeks) and am having a hard time getting back on or exercising or anything. And I’m tired of it. I feel great, all things considered, and am not deeply hating of my body anymore, but it’s still not where I want to be and damn, I’m tired of the wait and the work (and now, the whine).
Good luck to you, I’m wishing it to myself as well.