oh, mah hart

Rough page sketches from Ardian. He said, somewhat apologetically, “These are only roughs, the final pages will be much better.” *snort* I’m sure they will be, but wait til you see them. :)

I _am_ working on a rewrite of the script, but I tell you, I’m at an utter loss as to which will work better. I’ve asked him not to do more than page roughs until I get at least the first five rewritten pages to him (tomorrow, with any luck), and I will also post the rewritten pages and the originals to get feedback. I’ll comment on my thought process when I do that, as well.

Uh. Oh. Right. He also sent the first page in color, essentially as an app for me considering him as the colorist. Comments are welcome, nay, even encouraged!

P.S. I am bewildered at the number of people who wanted *in* on this filter, and the fact that nobody’s asked to be taken *off* of it.


  1. tersa

    Woo. :)

    The art is verra nice. I think the only ‘negative’ criticism I might have, and that may simply be from being taken out of context or not seeing the entire body of work, is that the first color sheet seems…not quite monochromatic, but…neutral? I think my eyes really want some kind of sharp contrasting color in there somewhere.

  2. lithera

    That’s what I was going to say only better. It seems to get lost in that pinkish/orange in the middle there and it hard to distinguish anything.

    You know, it might be of use to read “Hanging with the Dream King”. It is interviews with not only Neil Gaiman but the artists he worked with. I learned a lot I didn’t know about how things worked on that side of things. Not too many details but it gave me a better idea.

  3. fancythat2

    Ooooh, nice!

    The colors work well for me (though I do like lots of color) and the the pinkinsh set in the middle is there because it draws the eye to the proper sequence of panels. The artist knows what s/he? is doing.

    I love comic books! (and Manga)! So many wonderful pictures and stories whiled away my difficult teenage years).

  4. mnemozine

    It is hard to say anything with the color in just two pages. I would like to see how color is used. For example – the colors on these pages signifies to me that it is dusk – she is dressing in and looking down upon the city in its halflight.

    I like the subtlty in his shading, especially along her skin. Cheers.

  5. irysangel

    Wow, dude, his stuff is really good! I think if I had to nitpick, I’d say the main character doesn’t look very feminine. She’s bulky enough (and scowly enough) that with the wrong angle, she could look like a dude.

    Unless that’s how the character is SUPPOSED to look, then kudos. :)

    But wow, really impressive stuff, and the facial work is excellent.

  6. shimmerydaze

    I love her face. She’s pretty but not elfin.

    I don’t think she’s too muscular, that’s what boobs are for. Everybody is built differently, so I like the traditional style with a bit of a different build.

    The composition is striking and involving. The coloring with all the blues and neutrals is really moody.

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