Two nights ago, in an attempt to thwart my burgeoning cold, I took some vitamin C. One of the pills went down sideways and stuck at the top of my esophagus, where it would not be dislodged by water. Over the course of the next several hours, it worked its way down to about mid-breastbone, where, when, at 2:30am, the combination of esophagal discomfort and having to pee drove me to the bathroom. Water and gravity then persuaded it to the bottom of my esophagus, where it then remained until it had dissolved enough to be knocked loose by breakfast several hours later. I spent all of yesterday burping unproductively but uncomfortably, and in pain every time I ate something, because my esophagus was clearly bruised from this maltreatment. Today it is less painful but still not right.

File under: Do Not Try This At Home. Or At All.