Today I don’t much feel like doing this job.

This is for a variety of reasons I can point at easily: I got a couple revision letters, and they always take the wind out of my sails for a few days. One’s on the propopsal for THE PRETENDER’S CROWN, and I haven’t actually really worked myself up to reading it all yet, much less responding to it, which is probably good because the opening gist made me huff (they usually do, it’s nothing personal or even bad, it’s just my Instant Author Reaction: “Whaddaya mean, you want something CHANGED?! Isn’t it PERFECT the way it is!?”, which is pretty much inevitably followed by, “Rasslefrasslenghghtbhg, she’s *right*, isn’t she…”), and then coincidentally a bunch of postings came up on writer-LJs and blogs regarding the very issue I’m huffy about, and yeah, god damn it, she’s probably right. _Editors_. Sheesh!

The other’s for the rewritten HOUSE OF CARDS, and actually, I’m *really glad* to get commentary on that, because OMG, my brain is full of leaks and I had so much work to do on that that I *know* I missed things and that one more revision pass is really needed on that book. I knew when I turned it in that it was much much better than the original draft, but also that it still needed work, and I just couldn’t see the forest for the trees at that point and needed someone else to tell me what could be improved (this is where we praise editors, having just sheeshed at them). Still, I basically don’t want to deal with either of them, which has more to do with having a book to /write/ than actually being that much of a sullen bitch (I hope!). I don’t want to have to break my not-especially-strong stride on HANDS OF FLAME to do *any* other writing project, even just revisions on a proposal, much less revisions on a book. I can write two books at a time. I can’t revise one and write another at the same time.

Then there’s HANDS OF FLAME itself. It’s a few days shy of three months late now, and although that’s due to circumstances beyond my control, I’m not at all happy about it. So there’s part of me that feels like I should be done by now, long since in fact, and not being done makes me not especially enthusiastic about working on it. It’s not helped, probably, by the fact that I’ve revised the first third three times now, and I still haven’t gotten to page 200 of the book. Oi, already.

I’m also trying to set myself up for a few days of genuine writing blitz, with a bunch of 1000-words/1-hour mini-challenges, and while if I hit my goals on there I’ll be very pleased, the idea’s inevitably sort of grim and daunting. So, yeah. Today I don’t feel very much like doing my job.

Which is just too damned bad, innit? ’cause this is what they pay me for, and you go to work whether you feel like it or not.

miles to Minas Tirith: 262
ytd wordcount: 146,500

6 thoughts on “today…

  1. hugs – work is hard wherever you do it and what ever you do. It’s why it’s called work. But it helps to remember that most of the time you love your job ;)

  2. I know the feeling. Every time I get dissertation edits back from my Chair (after months of nothing, she says snarkily) I can’t even read them all at once and I usually have to go for a couple of brisk, huffy walks beore I stop being defensive and realize that she’s probably right about at least some of it.

    Good luck with is all.

  3. I’m writing about 4000 words a day at the moment, outside of my normal work hours, and it’s kicking my ass. I admire you for being able to do this for a proper job, full time, but I also don’t envy you one bit. I’m looking forward to handing in this second half of the draft on September 1st because I might get my free time and my sanity back. :)

    And yes, editors do know what they’re talking about. I suppose that’s why we don’t murder them in their sleep.

  4. If it’s any consolation I had to go into work today (Saturday) for an ‘orderly’ shutdown of all the servers while the electricians attempted to fix the server room’s little problem with blowing 50 amp fuses every couple of weeks. I did get lunch paid by work but then I was there until 3.30 fixing a server that awkwardly decided to blow its power supply when we restarted it.

    And at the end of the day I didn’t have any cool novels to show for it. Thankfully tomorrow is another day for both of us. Phew!

  5. I’m looking forward to next June, at which time, unless I get another contract, I won’t have another book due until the *following* June. *thud*

  6. Oy. Look on the bright side…if you’re busy typing, you won’t be busy eating, which will help you towards your coat goal, right? Got your tea all ready? I have some really nifty caffeine chocolate bars that my dh is addicted to, I can send some over….he loves the caffeine buzz he gets from them. Just remember, all the pain and slogging through you go through is tremendously appreciated in the long run. I’d love to be able to write a novel…I’m just not disciplined enough, and to be honest, I’m not sure I’m imaginative enough to do so. I think that’s why I’m so thrilled and awed by knowing (however tenuosly(yeah, sp?) authors, and getting a sneak peek into the process. C’mon, you can do it! Go Catie Go! Go Catie Go!!

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