Ok, I feel like whinging, so this gets to go behind a locked lj entry instead of on my regular blog where it’s vaguely possible a coworker might read it.
If I were going to be all dramatic, I’d say I hated my job. It’s not true, though. I don’t hate my job. I just don’t care very much about it anymore, and that’s not exactly a brilliant attitude to take. Particularly since I’m supposed to be Going Out And Improving Myself For The Sake Of The Job — learning XML, taking photoshop classes, that sort of thing.
Now, there are rewards for doing these things, like bonuses and raises and the occasional pat on the head, and there’s a big fat detrimental side to not doing it — like, they might find somebody who can — but I just don’t care very much. I sort of.. I suppose what I want is to continue in the status quo, without having to learn stuff. *snort* Ah, good, Cate. Way to expand your leetle grey cells.
The reason behind this — at least, I think the reason behind it — is that I have no intention of doing this job forever (anticipated last day: Dec. 31, 2005), and I haven’t got much expectation of having a burning need to know XML when I quit this job. Also, of course, someone has now seen fit to pay me to write, which makes *that* career a little more solid than the dream it’s been, so I want to focus on *that*, instead of on learning XML.
And the status quo is really boring as hell, but *snort* at least it requires no effort. I don’t see the job becoming lots more exciting as more stuff is converted to what we call platform (vs. individual site) level; in fact, it seems somewhat possible that at some point we’ll get so efficient we won’t all be needed anymore. Not terribly likely, but somewhat possible.
Bitch, bitch bitch. I look around once in a while to see if I can find a different job to do, but it keeps coming down to the bottom line of: they pay me a ridiculous amount of money to do really not that much work, and nobody else is going to pay me anything like as much. Since my goal is to pay off our student loan and car loan bills so that I /can/ quit and write full time as of the end of 2005, quitting this job to do something that pays less is outright dumb. Particularly since it’s not that the job’s unbearable, it’s just dull as dog shit.
Yes, right. So the thing to do now is shut up, suck it up, go get my back popped, and then come back and try to get some more work done so I can spend some time next week learning XML.