a monstrous beast

I need a new … well. Printer/scanner thing. One that ideally prints up to 8×10 color photos as well as has a 50+ppm b&w text print speed and automatically, no human interference required, will print double-sided pages.

I want the scanner quality–well, what I /want/ is for it to be a high quality extra large bed scanner like they used to make in about 1998 before they realized they could charge a huge amount more for that kind of thing because the only people who really need scanners that size are artists which I hardly qualify as but anyway, and while we’re at it it’d be nice to have a high-end OCR option for the scanner, by which I mean “I can load a sheaf of papers in and have it scan them,” though that’s less of an issue since HQN went to electronic copy edits. And if it had a negative-scanner attachment that would be ideal.

There is no such single machine, is there. Not for less than a bajillion dollars. But we’re trying to cut down on Numbers Of Items we have, and a monstrous beast of that sort would be ideal.

Ted did all the Big Work Ever yesterday and went forth into our chaotic lanai and de-chaosed it and put together the new grill and bike tent and all sorts of wonderful things. He is a hero.

I, OTOH, made applesauce, which isn’t nearly as impressive. The goal was to see how much applesauce 6 Granny Smiths (plus a couple other random apples lying around) made. The answer was 3 8oz jars, making the conclusion obvious: it isn’t really worth jarring it unless I do 12-18 apples at once. So next time I shall, and that oughta last us all a while, anyway.

To make up for being unimpressive (or something), I got some wonderful fanmail:

I just saw the cover of Mountain Echoes and I love it. Its beautiful and I am bouncing with excitement for this book!!!

However…..I am worried about a few things:

1. Morrison is not mentioned at all in the little blurb on the back. I read it four times just to be sure. I am hoping this is some sort of mistake and that he is going to show up so he can help Jo do whatever she needs to do to save the world. Because if he doesn’t I think I might implode and I think you are much too nice a person to let that happen to one of your biggest fans.

2. There is also the possibility that you purposely didn’t mention Morrison to keep us all guessing until we read the book. Which, of course, is your right as the most fun author ever but know that I am here…slowly imploding with anticipation because I am in love with Morrison & Jo as a couple. (and possibly with Morrison…and a little with Jo)

That really made my morning. Particularly the “I read it four times just to be sure,” bit. :)