Back at the start of the century (!) I submitted a manuscript to a writing contest, which I finaled in and went to the conference the contest was associated with, because finalists got to meet an editor and I wanted a professional opinion on whether what I was doing was any good. Finalists also wore little ribbons saying they were finalists in their genre. The SF/F ones were yellow. A woman came up to me and said, “Oh! You’re a SF&F finalist! Were you one of mine? I’m one of…
Tag: funny
birthday books
Upon the occasion of his 11th birthday, we gave our older nephew THE SWORD OF SHANNARA, A PRINCESS OF MARS and the Complete Novels of Sherlock Holmes. He opened the Shannara book and looked at it with great dubiousness, proclaiming, “I’ve never heard of Terry Brooks.” “This time last year, you hadn’t heard of David Eddings, whom you now love,” I said. “Oh yeah,” he said thoughtfully. “How did I find out about David Eddings?” “Aunt Catie gave you the books,” my sister Deirdre said dryly, and he c said,…
things
Husband: Your paycheck cleared. Please don’t run off to Tahiti. Me: It’s a magical place. * The other day a new friend came over and saw a portrait I’d done that’s framed and on the wall. She stared at it and said, “Who–who is that?” “Peter Wingfield,” I said, expecting to have to then explain that. “OH MY GOD,” she said, “I THOUGHT it was Peter Wingfield but that just seemed TOO UNLIKELY!” Clearly a good choice of friends. :) * I thought I had other funny stuff to post…
The Bin Saga
Months ago we changed rubbish removal services and I asked the old company to take away their bins, which they were supposed to do within 10-15 working days. After two months of me reminding them, I sent a bill. Then I started sending a daily reminder. Monday: I’m disappointed to report the bins are still here. I got a cut and pasted standard “We apologise for the delay, I’ll send an urgent request” response to that. Now, I’d intended to just keep sending that again and again until they came…
I love my parents.
My mother has just gotten a “Your Windows program isn’t working,” phone call. She likes to keep them on the line, apparently, so her half of the conversation is going like this: “Hello?” “Who is this?” “Oh *really*?” “My computer is already on!” “Oh no! What are you going to do about it?” “Are you sure? That’s astonishing, because I don’t use Windows. I use Ubuntu.” “It’s a different operating system. See, the thing is, Windows really *sucks*, so I don’t use it.” (Long pause, she reports in a whisper.)…