It is very frustrating to be unable to create what your insides want you to create.
I’m very good with words. I’m passable with drawing. I’m bearable with web design. I was good enough at photography to get both a scholarship and a professional job for it (although the linked stuff is nothing but snapshots and I don’t consider it to be Real Photography).
So why does it make my chest hurt with frustration when I look at Powazek.com or NoahGrey.com or JimFormation? (And why are virtually all the sites I admire designed by men?) Maybe it’s not the design. Maybe it’s the content. Maybe they’re doing something I want to be doing. Maybe this is related to the Web Design Weight Loss Plan. Maybe my tiny little brain thinks that if I could come up with the Perfect Design, I would suddenly have the content and projects and photographs that I envy at other sites.
Well, okay, I’m not lacking in content. It’s the projects (Fray, SF Stories, Photo.net). And the photographs. These are people I want to be like (even if Trip thinks the Fray is pretentious. He’s probably right. I’m not sure that’s the point, though. I think the point is that one way or another I find these sorts of people to be inspiring, but then I flail uselessly and fail to be inspired in any sort of *useful* direction).
I dunno. Maybe I need to work more extensively on On Your Left, which is currently malingering, as is every OTHER thing I should be working on. Including my novel.
In other words, get my head out of my ass and actively work on my stuff instead of making a lot of excuses. *wry look*