funny funny family

So yesterday while we were figuring out where the restaurant was, Ted got out his mobile to call and ask how to get there. For some reason, the mobile wouldn’t let him dial properly at first, and, being my mother’s daughter, I thrust out my hand to make him give it to me to look at. Then I thought, quite clearly, “Well, if he doesn’t know what’s wrong with it, why would I?” and pulled my hand back.

Too late, though; Mom said, “Wonder where you got *that* from,” which made me laugh and say, “What, you mean, “You’re obviously incompetent, give it to me to look at?””

It had apparently never, ever occurred to Mom that such a gesture might be interpreted that way. She said, “I never thought that! I’m just trying to help!” I said, “Believe me, that’s how everybody else interprets it,” and Dad said, “Usually when Rosie wants to help, I just let her have whatever I’m doing and walk away,” because he has learned. By that time Ted had made the phone dial properly, so we all quieted down so he could talk.

Except Mom and I went into quiet hysterics. We were back there laughing so hard we were shaking and tears were running down our faces as we mouthed, “You’re obviously incompetent,” to one another. Poor Ted, having to talk while we were back there gasping in air as quietly as we could and shaking with laughter. We just thought we were so damned funny and arrogant and alike. *laughs and laughs and laughs* The poor men we’re married to. *laughs*

The entire thing reminded me of my friend Liam’s wedding, during which I also went into hysterics. All of Lisa’s friends family were on one side of the church and all of Liam’s on the other, as is usual, but the thing was, all of Lisa’s people were good church-going sorts and all of Liam’s were theatre people and other agnostic reprobates. So the minister calls for a moment of prayer. Our family was in the second row, so Dad looks over his shoulder, then nudges me and I look over mine.

Every head on Lisa’s side of the church is bowed in reverence. Every head on Liam’s side is poked up looking around like a bunch of long-necked birds, bright-eyed and perky and nosy. I jabbed Deirdre, made her turn around and look, and we both started giggling. Fit to shake the pew and send tears rolling down our faces, being as silent as we could be. Laura, Liam’s sister, who is right in front of us, turns to look at us in bewilderment, because she thought it was really *far* too early in the ceremony for us to be *crying*, and I KNEW that was what she was thinking, which only made it that much worse. Oh, God, it was so funny.

Shortly after that, the minister’s giving his inspirational speech, and comparing marriage to a long journey down a river in a small boat, and he said, “And sometimes you’ve just got to bail out–I mean, bail the boat!” to roars of laughter. Fortunately, the bride and groom thought it was funny, too. *grin* That was a good wedding.

Now that I’ve gotten totally sidetracked, I’m going to stop writing this and go work on my book. :)


  1. Janne

    Funny family, indeed :)

    Hmm…is it just me, or isn’t the ‘main’ link from each comment working anymore?
    (Trying and possibly failing to avoid the ‘you’re obviously incompetent’ trap, here…)

  2. Robert, ex-Evan

    My funny wedding story — or my wife’s, more properly:

    At the rehearsal, the minister begins his remarks by saying something very much like “I know you’ve all done this before…”

    And much of the room bursts into laughter. See, I’m my wife’s third husband, and many of the members of the wedding party had appeard in her previous weddings. I joked that her maid of honor had season tickets. :)

    (Even I had been an groomsman in her previous wedding.)

    She took it well, and when the minister realized what he’d said, he blushed appropriately and apologetically.

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